Friday, October 16, 2009

Forgiveness...Losing "The List"

A friend of mine was talking to me about his marriage. He was saying that when he messes up, his wife can remember everything, big and small, that he has done wrong. When arguing with her, he says it is like he has a single shot 22 with a cartridge hung in the chamber and she has an UZI and all the ammo she can fire. Ouch.

This got me thinking about "The List." "The List" is an accounting of everything another person has done to hurt you. Even though you have "forgiven" them, you keep "The List" handy, to pulll out and recite the 13, 094 things the other person has done to hurt, betray, and dissappoint you. "The List" takes hurt and morphs it into bitterness. Holding onto the memory of that stuff undermines trust, hope and love and makes one miserable and lonely. It causes tension and frustration in relationships. It makes victims and offenders, good guys and bad guys, right and wrong. We need to lose "The List."

Do you want others to do that to you....keep track of every infraction and throw it out there during a 'discussion?' Wouldn't that be horrible? Is that what you want God to do with you, keep track of all the things you have done to sin against Him? God says you will be forgiven as you have forgiven others....that includes "The List."

Do you have a "List?" If you do, I think you should actually create "The List." Don't just make a mental exercise but write "The List" out. Look at it. Remind yourself of it until you get sick of it. Then really forgive what is on "The List" and move on. It's is the loving thing to do.

1 comment:

  1. GREAT idea! Good way to keep our hearts and minds bitterness-free and healthy! Thanks!