Thursday, October 15, 2009

I Am Nothing

I am reading a book right now about a small-town lawyer that has it all but is accused of murder and is losing everything. His marriage is in shambles, financially he's ruined, his father was murdered and he is being accused of doing it, lost his car, friends look at him like he is guilty, and he lost his girlfriend, too (one of the reasons his marriage is in shambles). I love fiction because it so parallels my life in many ways. When you think you're invincible, think about Job, David, Paul, or many of the characters in the Bible. They are better men than me, more righteous in many ways yet God saw fit that they face painful realities in their lives.

More so, this fictional character has lost his pride, the stability of a predictable life, the shallow friendships he had, and the ability to hide behind a budding alcohol problem. I hate it when one's addictions no longer work, whether it is crack, alcohol, computer games, porn or whatever we use to hide our vulnerabilities. When life caves in, those things are like hiding in a straw house and the big, bad wolf is walking up the path.

The character in my book has finally stopped lying to himself that everything is going to be "all right" and is finally facing the traumas and failures in his life. He is talking about it and finding people don't place as much emphasis on his life as he does (a real bummer to find we are NOT the center of the universe). He realizes that everything he has done is him creating an illusion that everything is OK, that he is OK. He has finished hiding.

Could you be the same? Is there something you need to face? Here's some advice: Ask God to help. Don't fight the flesh with your flesh. You can't outsmart Satan. You can't do it alone without God's touching your life, guiding you, and giving you strength that you can't muster by will alone. Whether it is conflict with a neighbor, unforgiveness from past hurts or a pesky addiction problem: ask God to save you. Keeping asking, begging and crying out to the Lord: He will answer. You are not alone.

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