Saturday, September 12, 2009

1/3, 1/3, 1/3

When I was younger, I wanted people to like me. In order for everyone to think I was cool, I was willing to do things that I will not mention here (because if you knew them, you might think I was uncool) just to get attention. All the antics, all the joking, all the goofy things I did to get a laugh or a "I can't believe you just..." was to get other's approval, get them to like or notice me. But at what cost?

My brother, Tim, once said that if "some people aren't mad at you, you're not doing what you ought to." That got me thinking. If you do the right thing, if you do what God wants you to do, if you are completely obedient to the Lord, some people are not going to like you. I have personally known many people, preachers, professional athletes, business executives, doctors, etc., who lived for the next "approval high" and in the process, lost who they were as people...lost what made them interesting in the first place. People pleasers actually lose their appeal when they try to please others over being authentic and genuine. Living a lie is rarely appealing.

Doing things for approval is like a penguin flapping its wings to fly. Its just not going to be enough. The harder it flaps the more nothing happens. If people don't approve of you, that is their problem, not yours. If they can't like you for who you are, then they are not going to like you for being who you aren't.

You have to look inside first, acknowledge the gifts that God has given you and use them. When one uses his/her God given gifts, that is enough. When you try to please someone and do something that is not "you," people aren't actually attracted to that...yes they may be amused or may laugh...but that is not going to fulfill the need you have to be relevant, obedient or purposeful...only God can do that. If we are content with who we are and how God is using us, we don't have the drive to please everyone else.

So that brings me to the 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 Theory of Human Relationships. You want a 1/3 of the people to hate you, a 1/3 of the people to love you and a 1/3 of the people to be apathetic toward you. What???!!!??? Those are Jesus' numbers. Think about it. Just being the Messiah caused people to crucify him, worship him, and others ignored what he did...and he was God in the Flesh. Are we trying to get better numbers than Jesus? If we are faithful and obedient to the Lord, 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 is about as good as it should get.

How are your percentages? Do you want everyone to love you or do you want to be obedient?


  1. Hey, the only One's opinion that should matter is Jesus! :) Although, fellow devoted Christians around us do help us stay well-grounded. Glad you turned out OK. :)

    Praying for your whole family!

  2. Even a blind hog can find a truffle....those of us in Christ seem to turn out OK, despite all the things we do to thrawt Him in our lives. I am merely a product of grace and mercy...and two parents who did their best.