Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Love is not Jealous

If love is not jealous, what is it? Trusting? Secure? Relaxed? Content? Undemanding?

I have heard jealousy is the fear of losing what you already have...demanding that another is solely devoted....smothering the other with attention and insisting on the exclusivity of any love...it fears losing its only source of love and therefore clings tighter, thinking the tighter it clings the less likely the person will be to leave.

So, love holds on loosely and allows the other to choose to be there instead of demanding it. Demanding that one love you turns love into obligation and "have to"....and very few of respond well to having love choked out of their life. The jealous person doesn't realize that the tighter the cling, the more repulsive and oppressive they become until the object of their jealousy has no choice but to run.

But love trusts that love is sure and true. Love is secure that despite flaws and weaknesses, love will last. Love realizes the other must have freedom to choose or becomes something other than love. Love relaxes because it knows that love will be returned in its own time. Love is at peace because there is stability.

How has jealosy (yours or others) affected your relationships?

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